Do you feel as if you need to prove yourself to others? Read this post by Master Teacher Steven Tomlinson about why we shouldn’t fear failure.

In one of our many, tedious conversations about what I was going to do with my life, my mentor asked me: What do you need to prove? Who does your job need to impress?

As a 30-year-old, I found the question rather patronizing — but after a moment’s thought, I realized I had no trouble answering it. I needed to prove to my parents that I wasn’t a failure. I needed to prove to my peers that I was at least their equal, if not better — and, mainly, I needed to prove to myself that I wasn’t a loser.

How did our career plan get mixed up with the ego’s drive to prove things? And what might happen to your career planning if you could completely bracket any need beyond good stewardship of your talents and passions to make a difference in the world?

Some of us get there after hard knocks. We get enough failure that it doesn’t scare us anymore. We lower our expectations and resign ourselves to getting on with it, doing the best we can.

In his excellent TED Talk, philosopher Alain de Botton offers a more radical, courageous and entrepreneurial option: Revise your definition of success. See the game for what it is and boldly choose to opt out.

He challenges us to consider that we don’t need the fear of failure, of not keeping up, to motivate our best contributions to the world. It’s not whether you win or lose that determines your worth, but the wholeheartedness with which you engage the messy puzzle the world deals you. Tragic heroes — one might call them losers — are heroes all the same.

De Botton’s sharp and thoughtful meditation on success is great fuel for anyone gearing up to reinvent themselves.

Photo courtesy of thinkMIGUEL.

Tags: Advice, Job, Steven Tomlinson, Success, Teachers

Posted in Guest Writers, Life of Meaning